I vote for being a little of both! There is this mistaken idea in the spiritual community that we always need to be happy, never have a negative thought or Gosh Forbid…. get grumpy! I believe this false idea has led to a crisis of “un-integrity.” In other words, thinking we have to be positive all the time has brought us out of being in integrity with our feelings.
With that said, I do feel our thoughts today create our reality tomorrow. Edgar Cayce, the Father of Holistic Medicine, tells that “Mind is the Builder – Physical is the Result.” This makes it even more important that our outer emotions match our inner emotions. Think of a building whose foundation is made of marshmallows instead of bricks. No matter how much you say they are bricks, those marshmallows are not going to support the building!
More than anyone wants to admit, emotions drive your thoughts. Yet when your unconscious emotion is not in integrity with the emotion you show the world then you end up experiencing a muddle of confusion as your physical reality!
You have experienced this. I am sure you have sensed when what a person is saying doesn’t feel like it matches his or her energy. Even when they are saying all the right things or assuring you everything is fine, you probably felt confusion and mistrust. This is an example of what it is like when an outer persona is not in integrity with its inner truth. The same goes with your life when you pretend you aren’t frustrated, hurt, angry or whatever the emotion is. Your life becomes confusing. You start to distrust what is good in life. You may even begin to distrust others.
Conversely, when you allow all emotions to come forth, in a healthy manner, you open yourself up to the flow of life. There is less confusion, less doubt and a greater ability to see the good.
It is natural to have the full spectrum of emotions. When you hold on to an emotion without giving them healthy expression, the emotion tends to stick around longer and can be quite troublesome behind the scenes, often giving a Pop-Up appearance when you least expect it. Maybe you get angrier at a situation than warranted or you can’t let go of a situation that really doesn’t deserve so much energy. Finding positive ways to express and deal with emotions are key.
What to do with a difficult emotion:
- Journal or draw the emotion to help you process it.
- Write about the situation and then let it go for a bit. Come back later and see if the emotion has the same energy or response.
- Talk to a friend who won’t judge you.
- See a professional about it. Sometimes just a few weeks talking to someone can help you see the emotion clearly enough to gain the needed coping skills.
- Meditate on the emotion and ask why it has a strong hold on you.
- Pray for help with processing the emotion.
- Look to see if you are completely right in having the emotion. This isn’t to create a sense of righteousness yet it can help with self-judgment.
- MOST OF ALL – See if the emotion is calling on you to make a change.
Sometimes these emotions come to help or push us to make changes. Change is hard. Sometimes the change is harder than dealing with the anger or frustration. If that is the case, you have what’s known as THE BIG FAT ‘BE WITH’ and I recommend speaking with a professional to support you while you deal with it.
So next time you start to judge yourself for being a Grumpy Cat, remember, change may be called for. Work with some of the steps above and for goodness sakes, be in integrity with your emotions. You’ll find the emotions will stop controlling you and you’ll find yourself going with the natural flow of life.